Loving and Accepting Yourself

There are all types of love, but two specific types of love that we will acknowledge and talk about specific to loving yourself are:

• Self-Love – A healthy form of love where you recognize your self-worth and recognize and accept your own personal needs and well-being. This love is important because you can not give what you do not have for yourself.
• Agape Love – the highest form of love for others in that it is unconditional of circumstances or events.

You may wonder how loving another pertains to love for yourself. It relates as we are all connected in some form or another. When you love another, you are loving a part of yourself. When you observe someone else’s beauty or talent, you are acknowledging that within yourself.  So, giving unconditional love to others causes the same internal responses that we have when we receive it directly from our own conscious minds. So, giving and receiving are equal. That is why it feels so good to compliment another or do some kind of act of kindness for another.

Loving unconditionally…

Life is a journey. Many of us have witnessed or been a part of something that has made us indecisive or unknowingly pull away from love.  And that is because of safety.  We desire to be in a safe spot. We turn away from hurt and/or pain directly, indirectly, and sometimes even unknowingly. We do this to protect the self, shielding ourselves, and relate in a space of:

• Unworthiness
• Powerlessness
• Insecurity
• Discouragement
• Jealously

Why do we respond in non-love?

By shielding ourselves from being loved or loving, we may feel we may never need to experience:

• Disappointment
• Failure
• Rejection
• Criticism

But in truth…

In shielding ourselves, we actually fuel those same low emotional feelings.

How can we immediately start shifting into a state of love?

The 10 Keys!

1. Know more of who you are. The more you experience the truth or authentic parts of you, the more you appreciate and have gratitude for the unique gifts you offer this world. Feed yourself compliments each and every day. Praise yourself for even the smallest of things.
2. Accept yourself fully. To do this…

• Be compassionate with yourself (less judgment and criticism). Offer yourself peace towards imperfections. Look at how those imperfections have made you unique and humbled you.
• Let go perceived “perfection”. Allow yourself to love you even when you haven’t met certain goals or aren’t quite where you think you need to be.
• Offer yourself unconditional love. This is the love that surpasses all understanding. It isn’t determinate of a shape, size, or certain quality. It loves regardless. It sees the divine behind the pain.

3. Have gratitude for your body. When you start to jump on the negativity wagon, change the pace and name 3 parts of your body that bring you happiness. It could be as simple as your heart beating, your lungs providing oxygen, and your brain functioning properly.
4. Live in the presence (of your current self). Understand that all that really matters is where your current focus is. Retrain your perception by…

• Stop scaring yourself (giving yourself futuristic views of what could happen).
• Be kind to yourself. Love regardless of what you have been told in the past.
• Gently change your current thoughts to ones that strengthen you.

5. Take care of your body. Our soul embodies our body and likewise, our body embodies our soul. Take care of all your needs… emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Give yourself the personal attention you need. Just like in an airplane – you want to put your oxygen mask on before you put on another’s mask. The smallest of things add up. It’s called the “slight edge”.  Doing small things accumulate to big changes…

• Nutrition – feed your body not only nutritious foods but positivity as you eat.
• Physical activity – move your body in ways that strengthen you and keep you focused.

6. Create an environment that supports you. Feng shui your world to create harmony and balance. Create spaces that influence you positively…

• Surround yourself with people that support a success mindset.
• Color your rooms in colors that bring about happiness.
• Read books that foster new brilliance or ideas.
• Develop a lifestyle that encourages your self-development.

7. Mirror work. Learn to love yourself by looking in the mirror and affirming your connection that you have with yourself. In Louise Haye’s book “Mirror Work – 21 Days to Heal Your Life” – she talks about using affirmations to redirect focus and going beyond old beliefs. Look in the mirror and say, “I love you, I really love you.” And if you aren’t quite there yet, saying “I know I can love you; I know it’s possible to love you.” In this way, you start building a stronger connection with yourself and trusting yourself.
8. What you see in others, you see in yourself. We are all part of something much bigger than our individualized selves. Unconditional love is seeing past what we consider to be the perceived imperfections in others and viewing them from a “soul” standpoint; a point of view that sees the divine aspects and is able to see past the pain and struggle that they may be currently experiencing. To do this…

• Have compassion for others’ perceived imperfections. Find a way to look past their anger, rejection, or abusiveness. Understand that they are only processing things through their own filters of past experiences (just like you).
• Dedicate your service to that which supports others and builds them up. If you have a strength of encouragement, lend that to another to help build their confidence.
• Do things for others without requiring anything in return (without attachments) – including random acts of kindness.
• See the light in others, even when they can’t yet see it for themselves.

9. Let go of the competition. Competing for a title or love… is like telling ourselves that there is “not enough” of whatever we are striving for. There is always enough for each of us. Living in harmony regardless of where we are. We are all equal in our physical bodies in that we all breathe, live, and die. No one’s presence is more important than another’s. When we emphasize another’s importance more than our own – we downplay ourselves. When we emphasize our own importance more than another’s – we downplay another.
10. Practice “happy” people watching. Positive emotion can be contagious (just as negative emotion can).  By observing others who are connected to their inner-zen… your body starts resonating with those feel-good emotions and you instantaneously start feeling better! This makes it easier to rebalance. When you are in the states of joy, happiness, freedom, and bliss – you know you are connected to the truest form of yourself.  That automatically leads to love!

It is an inner journey. Self-love begins with you.  By loving you, you give others permission to do the same!

More on removing limitations…

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